Numbers
by michbacz
Summary: Simple magic of numbers...    My first Castle fic. Work in progress. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

**English is not my primary language so please forgive me any grammar mistakes.**

**This is my first Castle fic so be gentle, please…**

* * *

**"Numbers"**

I, Richard Castle, being of sound mind and body, and of my own free will declare that…

…I love numbers.

Yes… I know that you know that I'm a writer, so I should probably say something more like... "I love words" and stuff like that…

Yeah, yeah… I know… I know… I also have a "thing" with grammar, spelling and all the other things that writer should have "thing" with.

Don't get me wrong – I love them too. Those things are paying my bills, right?...

Right.

But for me numbers are magical. Simple things… easy things… but they can describe your life better than anything else.

You don't believe me?

Oooookay… let me prove it to you all.

Thirty three.

Nice number don't you think? Three and three… simple, elegant, quaint. You can add something to it. You can deduct from it. You can do whatever you want…

Ok, that sounded much more dirty than I thought. Forgive me.

To the point!

Thirty three is also a number of… my books.

To this day in my life I wrote exactly 33 books.

Can you see the magic now? Because I can.

And what do you think about… five and twelve?

Nice?

Amazing?

Beautiful?

Or maybe…. Booooooring?

I beg to differ…

5th of December my daughter Alexis was born.

Do you understand me now?

Life is funny you know… It has a twisted sense of humor which I really like. Maybe because I never treated it seriously?

Don't get me wrong… I CAN be serious when I need to be.

I just don't treat life like most people…. You are – you live – you die – bye bye!

It's stupid! It's moronic! And I will never accept it!

My philosophy is simple… Carpe Diem! Seize a day! And live your life like you want to – not like they expect you to live it…

Cliché…. I know – but I don't care.

Where was I? Aaaaa…. Numbers!

Forty five. This is the number of cop friends I have.

Nice! Don't you think?

Can you imagine how many tickets I evaded for all these years? …..

Ok, I'm joking. Each and every one of them is simply amazing.

And since I mentioned my cop friends….

Six….

THAT many times I was arrested! ... Twice BY my WIFE!

She did it when I pissed her off with something…

STOP SNICKERING!

I totally blame it on raging hormones! She was pregnant at the times so I should know better and stop being… well… ME!

All right…. All right…. I really don't mind that she did it. I had it coming…

Of course I didn't stay long behind bars… l.

When she went home Javier, Kevin and Roy let me go – and we played cards all night.

She will never know about this of course…

I've grown quite attached to all of my limbs and I like them intact.

Hmmm….

Since I mentioned my wife, I've got another set of numbers for you all…

Nine… Three… Two Thousand and Nine…

Forgive me when I say it official….

It was 9th day o March – Anno Domini 2009….

It was the day when I met Her.

Great day indeed!

…

Are you ready for some more numbers?


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for Your wonderful reviews. I hope you'll like a second part of my story.

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World revolves around numbers. It's very simple you know...

1 year, 365 days, 12 months, 24 hours, 60 minutes, and so it goes... and goes...

Twelve...

That old I was when for the first time in my life I thought seriously about being a writer. Why then? - you ask. It's easy. Like every great story in the World... it was about a girl.  
Since I was a little brat I've always had... as you can say it - "light pen". When I was writing I could always put anything I wanted on the paper.

Imagination is really great think when you have it.

One day after receiving an A grade for my English paper - girl form my class - Alice Kincaid approached me and asked one simple thing.

"Can you write something for me?"

I was pretty shocked, but I tried to play it along and asked her what would she like.

"Something funny and light" - she told me. "Something you can read before sleep and don t have nightmares after that. Can you do it?"

She was cute... sassy... funny... So I thought Why the Hell not?

So I did it. I wrote her something.

I really don't remember today what was it about. But my memories from that time concentrate about two things.

One - that my story was 6 pages long.

Two - that when I gave it to her... I get one of the most beautiful smiles of my life.

It was a first step to become Richard Castle - the novelist.

STOP YAWNING!

Okay... okay... enough stories from my childhood. It's booooooooring. Let's talk about number... thirteen.

It took me thirteen Nikki Heat novels to end the whole series. 13 books - 13 years of my life and the life of my heroine... my muse... my one and only go-and-do-it-with-style-girl !

Ooooooooo man! My fans hated me for a loooooong time when I finished writing about her.

You think I m kidding?

Let me say only that I received ten times more hate mail than form the time when I killed off Derek Storm. I m serious like a heart attack my friends.

Hmmmm... Of course I didn't killed off Nikki Heat in my books.

I may be reckless...

I may be cocky...

I may be dork...

But I m not stupid or suicidal!

I just... retired her... hahahaha! As no one else but the Captain of her precinct :)

Patterson and Cannell laughed their asses off when I told them about it for the first time. It was poker night, and I think I lost that day many macho points in their eyes, but...

...I didn't really care.

Couple of minutes later it was I who was laughing, when Kate (while smiling sweetly) took all of their money and leave them broke.

Full house is a full house - don't you agree? :)

As for Nikki Heat... well... It's not that that I didn't have any material to write... No no no no no... I've had enough it to write hundred books. It's just that... sometimes... real life if far better that any fiction.

In every aspect I might add.

That s all... 100... One hundred percent truth!

Numbers... Numbers... Numbers...

I said I love them... They made me who I am today. I don t have any regrets.

But once in the while my numbers was really... Well... "unwelcome".

Are you interested?

Ok... Lets talk about number... three.

What about three? you ask.

It was three bullets that almost ended my life.

Xxxx

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone... I give you another part of my story :)**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Three shots was enough...

Bam, bam, bam!

First one hit me in the right leg. It wasn t serious... not really. Bullet went through my thigh and penetrated wall behind my back. No problemooooooo!

Thirty-eight... (yeah, yeah... I know - It s another number)... That was caliber of that gun.

Second bullet was a little worse... It went into my right arm and shattered a bone.  
For four months after the shooting I was still forced to wear a sling. It s a miracle that I didn t lose my hand. It took only two teams of surgeons and 5 hour operation to bring all the bone pieces together once again. I still have three metal screws welded into my bone.

Let me just say it... Since then - going through gates at the airport is a BITCH!

But the real bummer was a third bullet...  
Bummer... I really like this word.

Third bullet.

You can say all you want... I dare you... When something is piercing your lung and suddenly you can t breathe... When you are gasping for air like a fish took out from a water... When you can feel the blood coming to your mouth drowning you...

Well...Let s just say that it isn t a pleasure.

Fuck!

Ups. Sorry. I shouldn t swear...

Jo...my baby girl is dosing off and I don t want to wake her up. It s not an easy task my friends...  
Believe me when I tell you that this 12 years old kiddo has a sleep like a ninja warrior. Lightest noise and she is on her feet.

She must had that from her mom, because as it comes for me... I practically can sleep through an earthquake.

I ll be back to tell you about Jo in a while... but now let s get back to the shooting.

Like I said - third bullet hit my lungs... my right lung to be exact.  
I m not easily scared. Not really... but that day I thought I m going to die.

I remember thinking that I really messed up this time.

I thought about Alexis... That I will never see how she become a women... how she graduate and land some amazing job... how she will become mom... That I will never met her future husband... I will never met my grand children... That I will never become a wacky grandpa...

I thought about my mother... My sweet, crazy, insane, lovable and absolutely wonderful mother. She will be devastated... It was just three months ago when Chet died and you all remember how she took his death.

Goooooood! I was such an idiot!

What was I thinking? Going back from the precinct in the middle of the night. Taking a walk in one of the most dangerous neighborhoods? Not paying attention where I was going or if someone was watching me?

Like I said... Idiot! Stupid! Imbecile! Yeah... That s me! Rick Castle! Dork extraordinaire!

I bet you are thinking what happened?

You think that maybe got me some serial killer on the loose?  
Or maybe crazy fan?  
Professional hitman?  
Even Osama Bin Laden?

Nooooo my friends... Nothing like that.

It was a simple mugging!

to be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

**...another day... another part of my story :)**

**Please read and tell me what you think**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Bip, bip, bip...

One thousand and thirty four.

I counted 1034 "bips" before I gathered enough strength to open my eyes. Those "bips" was coming of course from the medical machinery to which I was plugged in.

Hospital room was pretty dark except some small lamps located at head of my bed. I felt pretty numb and it took me five minutes to remember what happened.

Mugging... shots... pain...

Those "little" things... you know.

Another couple of minutes passed before I understand my condition.

I didn't feel much pain – so I gathered – that I was on pretty strong painkillers. Morphine probably. For now I didn't mind it but I made a mental note to tell my doctors later about reducing my dosage. I didn't want to risk something worse than bullets.

Ahhhhh... so I lived... WOW!

So it was true! ...Luck sometimes visits a fool, but never sits down with him.

God! I really was alive!

...

Auuuuuaaaaa...ok ok ok... Note to myself! No stirring in the bed just after being shoot!

One. Two. Three. Four. Five...

Another good sign. Five breaths and it seems that everything is okay with my lungs.

I distinctively remember being shoot in right side of my chest and all the fighting for oxygen. I must had some great doctor to bring me back in one piece. If I was a betting man... which of course... I was. I would bet that it wasn't an easy job.

I think someone will be getting a really big case of Johnny Walker Blue... Very soon.

My right arm was in the casket so I touch my face with my left hand.

Shit!

When did I get a beard?

Under my fingertips it felt like a forest grew on my face. Obviously I was in early stages to become Santa Clause.

Ooooooookayyyyyy... It seems that I was out for a pretty long time! Was it really that serious?

I looked around my room and my gaze stopped at the sight of a sleeping woman. She was curled in one of the hospital chairs near me.

She looked so peaceful and... sweet.

Wow!

In that moment I was really glad that Kate was sleeping and she couldn't read my mind.

Shot or not – she would kill me if she ever knew I thought about her as "sweet".

Couple of minutes later she opened her eyes and saw that I was awake.

"Castle?" - she asked with disbelieving tone in her voice.

I smiled a little.

"H... hey" – I heard my raspy voice and I suddenly felt how very dry my throat is.

She jumped from her seat and grabbed paper cup with straw from one of medical trays. She quickly put the straw to my lips allowing me to take small sip of water. I drunk it and felt better already.

"A... Alexis?" – I asked.

"She's okay" – a shadowy smile appeared on her lips. "She's good. Your daughter is strong like hell. I really don't know who she get that from?"

"Wh... whe..."

"She is at home right now... It's already after midnight. Girl needed some sleep. She is spending every possible moment in here... watching you"

I've made a face and mentally kicked myself in the ass. My baby girl shouldn't be worried about me. I am such an idiot!

"She...has... school. Don't... worry... about me. I'm... good."

She smiled again and put down water cup.

"Yes, I see it now... Butch!"

I laughed and instantly regretted it. Note to myself – try not to laugh soon after being shot to the chest. Believe me. It is a very good advice.

Kate instantly become worried when she saw my reaction so I tried calm her down a little.

"Not... with... funnies... crazy lady" – I scolded her. - "Hurt and very handsome man laying here."

My try to lighten a mood gave some effects, because she smiled again and tried to give me reprimanding look.

"Handsome? I think you have to much drugs in your system Castle. You are clearly delusional."

"Y...yeah... yeah...you know... I love you too Detective."

She rolled her eyes and didn't respond so I flashed her a winning smile.

I blinked couple of times because I was quickly getting very tired.

"How... long... I...was... out?" – I asked her.

"Twelve days... ten hours... and plus-minus forty minutes..."- she answered me quietly.

"Wow" – it was all I was managed to say.

"Yeah... wow" – she agreed with me and suddenly became very serious.

"You really scared us all Castle..." – she said. "You really scared the hell out of... me."

My eyelids was getting heavier and heavier.

"I scared you Detective? I... thought... nothing... can... scare... you?"

"I thought so too" – I heard her whisper.

I closed my eyes.

"Don't... worry Kate...I'm tough nut to crack... to be okay."

She squeezed my fingers.

"You swear?"

"You... betcha..."

I felt her lips couple centimeters from my ear.

"I hope you keep your word... because if you don't – I personally put you back to the hospital"

"Promises... Promises... " – I teased.

I fell into the blackness of sleep soon afterwards.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. I hope you won't be disappointed in another chapter of my story.**  
**Once again please forgive me for any grammar or spelling mistakes I've made. Like I mentioned earlier English is not my primary language.**

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Three weeks that long I stayed at the hospital after regaining my consciousness.

I was twenty one long days of... taking meds... reducing painkillers... arguing with doctors about staying in the hospital bed all the time... endless visits from family, friend, acquaintances, etc...

Alexis and my mother stayed in the hospital all the time.  
Gina came also very often. As truth... our relationship became a little stranded lately, but we still stayed very civil to each other.  
Javier, Ryan and Roy also dropped by couple of times we played poker, laughed, had a good time. They also gave me a heads up about their latest cases.  
Lanie Parish brought me newest Stephen J. Cannel's novel to read - of course my writing was better but I liked it anyway...

Even Mer and Judge Markway paid me a visit...

Everyone... except Beckett.  
She came only once.

It was a morning after that night when I woke up for the first time. She entered my hospital room with Alexis by her side, she said "hi" and after couple of minutes she left...

...and she didn't come back.

For first couple of days I really didn't think anything about that.  
I was slowly recovering from my wounds - so I was pretty much "dead to the world" all the time. But when my condition started to improve I was really starting to miss her.

As a friend... of course.

My cop friend...  
My cop friend who happens to be a woman.  
Very... Very beautiful and amazing women I might add...

But a friend neither less.

...  
Yeeeessss... You believe me, right?  
Riiiiiiight.  
...

Of course we had cell phones.

She called me couple of times asking how was I feeling. I called her about some murder cases and other stuff... She told me once or twice that she was extremely busy with her job so I didn't push subject of her not visiting.

Not that I was missing her...

Hmmmm...

Ok... Maybe a little.

I didn't want to sound like sulking child... But I really didn't see her for three weeks and I started to think that I did something to her...  
Something wrong and I had no idea what it was.

Why she wasn't coming to visit?

What the hell was going on?

Could it be possible that... That... I don't know how to say it...

That she really... didn't care?

I know that I'm not the easiest person to work with... I've got million flaws and I usually am playing on her nerves.

I know all that!

But I thought that... at least... we were... friends.

Am I THAT obnoxious that she don't want even to drop by and say simple "Hi"?

...

Shit! Why?

...

But... but... she was here!  
I saw her on my own eyes when I woke up from medical induced coma.  
She was here... close to me... watching over me...  
So... why not now?

What the fuck did I do?

* * *

Three.

It all became clear three days before I was signed out from the hospital.

Alexis was sitting in my room doing homework she was seeing me every day after school even when I told her that she didn't need to.

She's stubborn that kid. I don't know from who she got that.

We were talking about my leaving the clinic in couple of days, when she mentioned something about Kate telling her - that I was looking healthier and healthier every day.

"How would she know that?" I snapped like an angry child. "She didn't come by for almost three weeks"

Alexis looked me like I had grown a second head.

"Yyyy... Dad? What are you talking about?"

"Just what I said... I haven't see her since I woke up, so..."

"Dad..." my daughter interrupted me. "...Kate was visiting you almost every day."

It was my turn to look at her with surprise.

"Honey... I really had no idea...WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!"

Alex didn't respond for a moment thinking intensively and then she looked at me seriously.

"Dad... Is it possible that you really didn't saw Kate for more than two weeks?"

I was starting to feel very stupid.

"Lex... I really didn't."

"How it is possible?" she asked. "We've made shifts. I was always here after school and Kate was dropping by almost every day after her work I think it was usually around 8-9 pm."

...  
O shit... o shit... o shit... shit... shit... shit... shit... shit... shit...!  
...

"Are you sure? 8-9 pm?" I asked faintly.  
"Of course I'm sure"

God! I'm such an asshole!

"Honey... mmmm... usually around 7 pm I'm out... I mean I mean... After my evening drugs kick in I usually sleep till morning. I swear... Last time I saw Detective Beckett it was over two weeks ago..."

She looked at me shocked and after couple of seconds a realization came into her eyes.

"Now that you mention it... I think you must be right about a possibility of not seeing Kate. I came here with her couple of times in the evening of course and you really were sleeping. We didn't want to wake you, so we stayed a while and go back home as always."

...  
Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!  
...

"Yeah... honey. That must be it!" I said faintly. "I must have been asleep"

I close my eyes for a moment and mentally ask Kate for forgiveness and promised myself to thank her when I see her next time.

...  
...

Suddenly one thought hit me like a ton of bricks. It was something what Alexis said in the end. I tried to sound nonchalant but something inside of me was trembling like a leaf in the wind.

"Darling... when you say that you and Kate went back home... as always? What do you mean by that?"

Luckily Alexis didn't notice my strange behavior.

"Ooooooo come on dad! You know exactly what I mean. Detective Becket was taking care of Grandma and me since you've got shot... We both were a mess and she saw that. Because of that - Kate is staying in our guest bedroom since day one."

I felt like I was kicked in the stomach.

"Yeah... this is Kate Beckett dear..." I managed to say. "I hope you don't cause her to much trouble?"

"Of course not daddy. You know me!"  
"I know Sweets... I know... you."  
"Dad?"  
"Yes?"  
"She's really amazing, you know?"

Here it was!

It was that moment! That proverbial "nail to the coffin" of Richard Castle.

"Yes... I... know that to honey... KB is extraordinary."

I suddenly understand with perfect clarity that I was a selfish little man...  
Little man who was thinking only about himself. Sulking and bitching about some imaginary problem that his friend didn't visit him in the hospital.

Man who was acting like a spoiled and angry brat.  
Stupid little brat.

Meanwhile the only person he was angry at - was not only looking after him and coming by almost every day to check out how he was doing, but... she was also taking care of two of most important people in his life...

For more than a month!

My brain simply shut down.

* * *

6 pm... 7 pm... 8 pm... 9 pm...

It was half past 9 pm when finally door to my hospital room cracked open and I saw Kate Beckett coming in.

I wasn't asleep of course although staying awake after getting my meds was quite strenuous job. But I simply couldn't drift off until I could see in my own eyes what a giant dickhead I become.

When she saw that I was awake she smiled a little and sit down in the nearest chair.

"Well well well ladies and gentleman... look who grace us with his presence?" - she teased me. "What happen to the sleeping beauty who we all know and love?"

"Good evening Detective Beckett" - I greeted her. "So finally you sort out all of your feelings for... well me... and admitted that you love me? Huh? I knew that it was just a matter of time."

She rolled her eyes in very familiar gesture.

"Sure Castle... suuuureeeee... Dream on writer-boy. Dream on!"

I laughed.

"Every night dear Detective. Till the end of the World"  
"Yeah, right." - that was her only comment. "So Castle, why are you still awake? You should go to sleep and gather more strength before they kick you out of here?"  
"I know. I just... wanted to talk to you first."  
"About what?"

I was quiet for a moment.

I want to thank you Kate..."  
"Thank me? For what?" - she looked confused.  
"For everything... for taking care of Alexis, my mother you must be exhausted. Thank you..."  
"You don't need to..."

She tried to interrupted me but I continued.

"I need to Kate. Alexis told me everything... I don't know what they would do in last month without you taking care of them. You are amazing... Thank you!"

I saw she was embarrassed and she tried to shook it off.

"Don't mention it. That's what are friend for, right? And... we are friends. Aren't we?"

I smiled to her.

"Yes Detective we are."

Beckett gave me a little nod.

"Good" - she said. "Now go to sleep it's an order."

"Yes, Mam!"

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**to be continued...**


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